Excuses, excuses, excuses, too much of it. Stop making this. I am fed up with your excuses. Now, remember, no more excuses. Ain’t these words familiar to everyone? How many times we listened to them matters less than the number of times we tried not to listen to them again. Making excuses is quite usual for sometimes it is a routine. Everyone makes it, some are good at making it while some get caught in the process.
Excuses are meant to defend or hide faults. They are explanations or reasons put forward to justify faults or offenses or mistakes. Blaming an internal problem on an external problem and blaming others for one’s flaws are the epicenter of excuses. Making an excuse does not define its boundaries, it can be for almost everything – negligence, irresponsibility, laziness, misbehaviour, ignorance, afraid to face consequences, and so many.
Some of the common excuses on general perspective are
- I don’t have enough time to explore my hobbies.
- I am not that much lucky.
- I don’t have a rich background.
- What will people say as this is not the right age to start.
So, the question is why do people make excuses?
Lack of confidence – Confidence is everything because it realizes people to believe in themselves and their abilities. A confident individual knows what to do, when to do and how to do because his/her introspection is higher than the individual who lacks it. Lack of confidence develops hesitation, nervousness, lower self-esteem, and do not let individuals try new things.
Irresponsible attitude – “You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.” — Jim Rohn
Responsibility, in long run, is something that shapes individuals and their lives because they develop abilities to go with the flow and follow through the change. But individuals with irresponsible attitudes are like a man without knowledge. For them, distractions remain the main focus while concentration, dedication, discipline get placed at the edges.
Addicted to comfort zone – Comfort zone is a psychological state in which things feel familiar to an individual. They are always at ease and perceive less stress and anxiety. But it restricts them from trying something new and accepts changes that contribute to fewer learnings and miss opportunities. Stepping out of the comfort zone develops confidence and the ability to handle changes which breaks the habit of making excuses.
Fear of Failure – Fear of failure is an extended version of lack of confidence and fear of judgement. Failing for some is like motivation to avoid failure outdo motivation to succeed.
This confirms the fear of failure is fear of shame and shame is a deep feeling that lashes out at self-esteem, identities, and emotional well-being. A tendency of procrastination gets shelter in daily routine and gradually making excuses becomes a habit.
Pros of Excuses
- Encourage to be in protected self-esteem
- Provides temporary relief
- Sometimes it can be a saviour
- Can be a social lubricant
Excuses are advantageous when used in moderation but not before experts who can refute the person’s excuse.
Cons of Excuses
- Develops continuous regret
- Encourages pessimistic outlook
- Creates self-doubt
- Gives way to lack of creativity
- Develops self-limiting belief
- Makes less reliable and credible
How to stop making excuses.
Reality is a choice. Accept it – There are two roads of choice – acceptance and negligence. Acceptance is the road less travelled but negligence is full of traffic. Acceptance is realising a situation or condition as it is and reality means the way of life really is, different than the imaginative world or how one would imagine or like it to be. Accepting reality is the only choice that demotivates an individual to make excuses.
Get a disciplined life – Discipline means the practice of training people to behave in a controlled way. It creates habits and habits bring routine and confidence which further brings consistency. And consistency is the enemy of procrastination and excuses.
Be enthusiastic and willing to learn – Willing to learn means desire to acquire new knowledge, understand them and develop. Enthusiasm is parallel to willingness, an enthusiastic individual is always willing to learn new things and seeking for better. Learning new things broadens understanding, sharpens thought processes, and brings an optimistic plus realistic mindset that creates no room for excuses.
Notice while blaming others – Blaming others for their own mistakes or faults is a common phenomenon of excuses. While blaming others noticing ‘the reasons for blaming, statements used while blaming, the profits after blaming others’, blesses an individual to identify the gap between reality and the present situation. This may inspire an individual to focus on finding solutions than making excuses.
Cultivate new qualities – Cultivating new qualities and habits is the extended result of willingness to learn, and pracising a disciplined life. It fosters flexibility and an ability to handle changes and proceed accordingly.
The Last Corner
Excuses, sometimes, are made to avoid unnecessary discussions, debate, or not want to commit to something. We can not deny making excuses based on situations and circumstances but the responsibility of making unnecessary excuses. Making regular excuses may end up people losing respect for the person.